About Me

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It would probably be better for someone else to describe me cos I'm not very good at this bit, but I'll do my best! I'm currently studying for an English Literature and Language Degree with the Open University. It's hard work but good fun and I've made lots of online friends. I was diagnosed with ME in 2009 which made study extremely difficult, but with the help of an excellent tutor and great learning support team at the OU, I managed to complete the year. Since then I have carried on and learnt to cope , managing my studies around the ME. I have a WONDERFUL husband who looks after me and three beautiful cats who I couldn't live without!

Tuesday 15 November 2011

Getting Over Oscar

It's been three weeks now since we had to say goodbye forever to our beloved cat Oscar. My grief has not really manifested itself how I expected. Instead of bawling my eyes out at the slightest thing; two food bowls, not three; an empty space on the sofa etc. I've simply got on with my life. At least that's what I thought. 
  However, two things in my life changed, both of which affected my health badly until I recognised the cause. The first was most easily identifiable. I kept myself busy to the point of exhaustion by going out the house. I know my limits. Going out, be it into town, (and Crook isn't big!) or a little further a field, I can usually manage twice a week but anymore is just too much. It was only when I physically had to stop from pain and exhaustion that I looked at why I had put myself through all that. I didn't want to be in a house without Oscar.
  The second, more difficult to identify form of my grief came in the form of my epilepsy. I started to have mychlonic jerks.These are muscle spasms sometimes accompanied by a brief loss of consciousness, and often strong enough to knock me off my feet. The odd thing about these was that I was having them at exactly the same time every day, ever since we lost Oscar. At first we thought they were being caused by new painkillers interacting with other tablets. It made sense. I was taking them at the same time of day as I was having the jerks.However that theory went to pot when I came off the tablets and the jerks continued. It was then that I sat down and took stock of what was going on. I was having the jerks when I would normally be giving Oscar his first dose of medication and sitting with him for a while. We had missed the biggest trigger of all for my epilepsy: Stress. I sat down with Michael and told him what I thought. He seemed a little sceptical at first but had to admit that the timing and everything fitted but we couldn't think of a solution. However it seemed we didn't have to. The following day I didn't have any jerks. Or the next. Or the next. Or the next. Or the next....... It seems that identifying and acknowledging my grief has helped to stop it from translating itself into a bad thing that could potentially be harmful to my health.

Thursday 3 November 2011

Halloween etc.

I don't normally like Halloween, kids knocking on your door wanting money, most of them not old enough to be allowed out by themselves anyway. This year though when my God Daughter, Angel, (pictured right) turned up on my doorstep, aged 2wks off 2yrs dressed as a witch, I was delighted. She was with her mum, of course, and one of the few Halloweener's that ever make an effort to dress up, (other than buying a cheap mask and try and scare people witless with it). "Happy Halloween" were her prompted words, much friendlier than the usual "Trick or Treat". She had a little bag full of sweeties, which she was so happy with. 

I visited my Godson, Thomas, (pictured right) on Monday, only to find him a poorly little boy. I had brought Halloween cakes up for him and his sister Jessica, who was at school, but it was clear that Mummy or Daddy, (probably Daddy! Sorry Glen) would be eating his. I really felt for Thomas. At 18mnths it must be hard to understand the feeling of being sick. Hopefully he will return to his happy little self very soon.

Having no children of our own my God Children are very important to me. We hope to have children in the future but I hope that  Thomas and Angel will always be part of my life.